trotzen protzen kotzen


Haßschirm überwunden
August 24, 2008, 1:36 pm
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Those chompers! His shriek! Her pinwheel hat!



I killed Liz. I killed the teen dream. Deal with it.
August 20, 2008, 4:13 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I’m finally on the up and up after a nasty bout of strep throat. It was no fun, but playing hooky and watching a bunch of movies (including Jawbreaker for the 462nd time) was a treat, and I had an excellent nurse (add ‘nurse’ to the revolting words with ’s’ sounds list). The only downside was the trip to the hospital to gets me pills. Hospitals here are shitshows. Privacy doesn’t seem to be a big thing, which means that you could be mid-colonoscopy and have an old lady barge into the room wondering if she’s in the right place. Like she didn’t know. 

I did manage to kill two birds with one stone though. The doctor burned off a wart that I’ve been cultivating for a while. I was sort of sad to see the little guy go. It means that people can no longer use one of my favorite expressions in reference to me: warts and all. You know, like “Lachy’s great to have at hot tub parties, warts and all.”

I registered for classes this morning. I was in a hurry, but I noticed a few of my classmates in line with me: a dreadlocked jam-bandy type from the States, a bloater from Canada who wouldn’t stop talking, a stern Slovenian girl, a British skinhead, and Japanese girls as far as I could spy. Can’t wait to see which class I’ll be in. Tenterhooks.

The weather’s spectacular right now. Here’s a photo from my ride home this morning. Feel the hot wind.



Goodbye Cinzano
August 14, 2008, 4:07 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Best headline of the day: Handshake gone awry puts Cindy McCain’s arm in sling. Brittle biddy! An inevitable result of pill-popping and living in a desert climate.

I know I’ve been off the radar for the past couple weeks, but shit is getting hectic in these parts. Believe me when I say that I can’t wait to take a bite out of this neglected inbox. I need to find a new apartment closer to the university and a body to replace mine in my current squat. One to file under ridiculous: I’ve been taking care of an extremely annoying Persian cat (fecking hothouse flowers, those things) for my Mongolian ex-roommate until she returns to Taiwan at the end of the month, but she just informed me that she’s pregnant, so she may stay in Mongolia. She’s twenty. I hate cats. I don’t know what to say or do. Vom. Vod?

Speaking of vod, I just had a dream that I was living in Berlin with Judith. Judith, if you’re out there, you should consider it. Cack-in-einer-Pfanne.

That’s it. Low-level stress, re-watching old episodes of The Sopranos and Murphy Brown (those shoulder pads only make her zingers zingier), and sexy chillin with a hilarious Dutch boy.

Three videos that made my week:

Latifah’s Had It Up 2 Here (I’m allergic to wack crews)Whitney Houston and F-16 Fighter JetsLucky Bitches.

The Nineties were simply a better time.



Orgy of Hypocrisy
August 4, 2008, 8:35 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I’ve been hearing the term “No Fun Olympics” being tossed around a lot lately in reference to Beijing 2008, and I find it confusing. When were they ever fun to begin with? When have they ever been apolitical? I think this is one of the few reasonably inconclusive articles I’ve read about this whole non-issue. Now, would everyone kindly move on to a new non-issue?

Things here have been pretty boring for the past few days. Mostly just bubble baths in the dark and late-night strolls. I think it’s worth mentioning, however, that I had a student today named ‘Yureen’. Try calling that out in a crowded room while keeping a straight face.